Mount Hood is our local volcano in Portland, Oregon. It's less than two hours away and when it isn't cloudy or smoggy we can see it from downtown. We just talked recently, Mount Hood and I, and Mount Hood has promised me it won't erupt until May 2108. At that time there will be an iPod museum in Pioneer Square and Arsenal will have won the Premier League.
Mount Hood in Oregon is solid, stoic, and gorgeous. It's the home of bob cats, bears, and hipsters with snowboards. You can swim in great waterholes like Lake Trillium and Lake Timothy, and it's fun to body shame the locals who'd rather die than get a sun tan. We're all very pale here. The tattoos look so much better that way.
And Mount Hood is always watching you in Oregon, always! If you don't recycle your banana peels, Mount Hood knows. When you steal medical marijuana from senior citizens on NW 23, Mount Hood calls the cops. You may fool Mount Everest, Matterhorn, and the Andes, but you don't fool Mount Hood.
By the way, you may not know this, but Mount Hood is also the only transgender volcano in the world, so if that bothers you, you should visit South Carolina instead!
Here are some pretty pictures from my adopted home. You're welcome.
|Lake Trillium and Mount Hood. A small, gorgeous lake an hour and 15 minutes from Portland.|
|Lake Timothy is a gorgeous place except for Saturdays and Sundays during summer where you have two thousand campers shouting at their toddlers.|
|The annual meet-up for Basset hounds in Cannon Beach, Oregon? I fell in love with all six of them, that's for sure.|
|The Oregon Coast may be the most beautiful coastline in the US. If you're from California or Washington you may disagree but that's only because you don't know any better.|
|Typical sign in SE Portland, but before you laugh that evil Starbucks laughter of yours, just know that we value life in Oregon. Even rattlesnakes and Republicans are welcome.|
|The biggest public library in Portland. It gets crowded on Fridays.|
|Portland is the biggest cycling city in America. To the left you see one of our daily commuters. She may look a little skinny but that's what happens to you when you don't wear a helmet.|
Copyright, Peter H. Fogtdal, Danish Accent.