Read The Tsar's Dwarf (Hawthorne Books)

Read The Tsar's Dwarf (Hawthorne Books)
"A curious and wonderful work of great human value by a Danish master." Sebastian Barry, Man Booker finalist (Click on the picture to go to the book's Amazon page)

Monday, August 15, 2011

Beautiful London (And Almost Not a Word About the Rioting)

It's hard not to love London.  The parks are so gorgeous, and luckily they can be used by everybody. There is no dress code, but that shouldn't surprise you. The British haven't dressed well since 1939.

I still love riding the double-decker buses, and like all kids I fight to get the front seat on the top. Sometimes I have to mug a few Spanish tourists, but no one said mass transit was easy. And hey, I got to take this mediocre picture of Oxford Circus.

Being such a history slut, I went to Hampton Court outside of London. Frankly, I wanted to get away from the riots in the city, so what was more natural than escaping back to the peaceful times of the 16th Century?

When I visited the castle I ran into Henry VIII. I was a little surprised since I thought he was dead. But much to my dismay His Majesty didn't look like Jonathan Rhys-Meyers at all.

You see, I'm a little obsessed with The Tudors, the popular TV-series. I've watched it on Netflix all summer and learned so much about the Renaissance. For instance, I had no idea that everybody was so fuckable in the 16th Century. They obviously had amazing dental work in England back then. Even the executioner looks like a TV-anchor with those pearly whites. And a few of the queens must have made use of the tanning beds in Ealing. Yes, those were the days when you could behead your wives and wear fabulous clothes, too.

But there are other more important tourist sites in London. What impressed me most was the shrine to Beautiful Football Played By Whining Millionaires, also known as the Emirates, Arsenal's stadium. The canons outside were put there to make sure that Nicklas Bendtner doesn't come back.

The great thing about London is that you find art everywhere. This photo is from Downing Street, I believe. A few famous residents live there, but I have no idea who.

Your Danish novelist couldn't help taking a picture of himself in Islington where he stayed at a cottage owned by his union. That's why I'd come to London in the first place: to write with that comforting sound of police sirens in the background.

God bless London. Unfortunately, the city is going to need it.