Saturday, February 12, 2011
Oh Berlusconi, Just Wait Till Erection Day (Sorry, I Meant Election Day)
It's all over for Silvio Berlusconi.
The problem is that it's been all over for the Italian Prime Minister for decades. This man has been involved in more scandals than Charlie Sheen. The only difference is that Sheen trashes hotel rooms, Berlusconi trashes a country.
However, Berlusconi is still the Prime Minister of Italy. He seem to survive everything: screwing minors, insulting world leaders, buying other politicians, arranging bunga bunga parties. But then again, our Silvio is probably an incarnation of Caligula. A Roman Emperor needs his orgies. We should just be happy that Berlusconi hasn't named his horse a senator yet, but I'm sure it's only a question of time.
Why does Italy elect Berlusconi? The answer is simple. He's a multimillionaire, as charming as a reptile, and he owes most TV-stations and newspapers of importance. Italy isn't really a democracy in anyone's book. It's a mafia infested museum with incredible people, the most beautiful language in the world, and sixty million citizens who have no faith in their own government whoever leads. So "Berlusconi isn't worse than the others," a lot of Italians argue, shaking their world weary heads.
"I have no idea who votes for Berlusconi," my Italian novelist friend Roberto Pazzi once told me. "Seriously, I don't know a single person who does."
All my other Italian friends say the same. They hate Berlusconi and deeply ashamed of his corrupt politics, his lame jokes, and his saggy balls that are flapping in the breeze. The man is 74 years old, more sun tanned than John Boehner and keeps on passing laws that benefit his own business empire - and always when Parliament is about to go on vacation.
Silvio Berlusconi is so indecent he gives the Mafia a bad name. At least, the Mafia has sick morals. Berlusconi has none, only appetites ... but still he gets elected again and again. Still, he is saved by other politicians in Parliament who are bought, bribed - and when he dies, the Pope will probably make him a saint, since the Vatican has deep compassion for those who have been accused of sexual abuse ...
Sometimes we have to ask ourselves a very hard question: Why do we get the leaders we get?
They must be an expression of the collective unconsciousness and our national psyche. In Denmark our leaders are bland and mediocre. In Sweden they are competent and boring. In Italy they're untrustworthy but wildly entertaining.
Our leaders seem to be a mirror of our nation's shadow side, so no wonder we all often suffer from chronic indigestion when it comes to politics. Somehow we're confronted with our own darkness every time we turn on the news.