Getting High School Kids Addicted To Scandinavian Literature

1.
I've found my mission in life.

I want to get high school kids addicted. Not to crack or pot. Not even to a healthy dose of French porn, but to something nice and wholesome - Scandinavian literature.

That's why I said yes to the kind invitation from Lincoln High School in Portland to do a presentation of The Tsar's Dwarf. Hell, I'm in the middle of My Pretentious World Tour anyway, so why not introduce these impressionable youngsters to my South Scandinavian filth?

Two classes were forced to sit through my lecture. And these 16 year old kids behaved much better than the kids you see on reality TV. No one was doing methadone, everybody was as polite as traffic cops, raising their eyebrows when I said fuck or Norway.

Since I'm the epitome of humility, I told my audience that there actually are other Danish writers in the world than me - not to talk about Swedish and Norwegian wordsmiths. We just don't get as much attention as the thriller writers unless we murder someone ourselves.

As any book seller knows, Swedish thriller writers have become the new Abba. Stieg Larsson is simply the most popular dead guy around. His The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo and The Girl Who Played With Fire are world wide hits. Henning Mankell, another Swede, is also selling millions of books. However, none of those gentlemen are among the best writers in Scandinavia.

2.
So, dear readers, why don't you put away those nice thrillers? Why don't you leave Dan Brown at Taco Bell and dive into the fabulous world of Scandinavian literary fiction? We may be from the countries of Lego, Ikea, and frostbite, but hey, we can write, too.

Here are a few books I'll recommend for you English speakers who have made the cruel discovery that there's a world out there of great translated literature:




Sweden:
The Royal Physician's Visit by Per Olov Enquist. You will be hard pressed to find many historical novels as good as this. It takes place in 18th century Denmark where a German doctor comes to Copenhagen and ends up ruling the country instead of the mad king. It's a beautiful love story, too. And a must read for any lover of historical fiction.

Popular Music From Vittula by Mikael Niemi. A funny and poetic coming-of-age novel that gives you a great insight into the Finnish minority in Northern Sweden. Presumably the most sold novel ever in Sweden.
I'll recommend this to any one who's ever had a childhood.

Hash by Torgny Lindgren. Two older gentlemen set out to taste all the local recipes for hash (a dish, not something you smoke) This doesn't sound as much perhaps, but Hash is another hilarious novel from our "boring" brothers across the sound. Yes, those delightful Swedes are often very funny.




Norway:
Before You Sleep by Linn Ullmann. Norwegian magical realism. A great read with an unreliable protagonist who is coming to terms with her family and her fast fading youth. Excellently translated by Tiina Nunnally who also did The Royal Physician's Visit and my own The Tsar's Dwarf.

Tales of Protection by Erik Fosnes Hansen. One of my all time favorite novels. Great storytelling, a masterpiece with four stories that take place during four different time periods and come together in strange ways. Visit Italy during the Renaissance, a small Swedish island in the 19th Century, and Norway and Africa in the 1900s. An unforgettable book that asks a simple question. Why do things happen the way they do? Is there a scientific pattern, a protective God, what?



Denmark:
The Quiet Girl by Peter Hoeg (Høeg to us Danes). Most reviewers hated this spiritual post modern masterpiece, probably because they didn't understand a word of it. Yes, it requires patience like all puzzles, but it's worth it if you appreciate its many philosophical and spiritual references. This is ground breaking stuff from a man who doesn't care if he loses the million of readers he gained for Smilla's Sense of Snow!

Doghead by Morten Ramsland. A grotesque Danish novel that was a huge hit back home. This one is a funny saga about a dysfunctional family in Norway - we seem to have a few of those in our neck of the woods, don't we? We follow these weirdos through three generations, and it's a great ride.

Nothing by Janne Teller. A dark young adult novel that is coming out in a few months (February 2010). You could call it The Lord of the Flies for the 21st century - the publisher does, anyway. Every age group can enjoy this modern fable that is way too beautiful to be depressing or nihilistic. Translation, Martin Aitken.



3.
So what happened to all the great Finnish novels, you may ask?

Well, first of all, I haven't read any.

Second of all, Finland isn't part of Scandinavia, contrary to what people think. The Finns don't share our language and they're better at holding their liquor. This is a huge compliment to Finland that is neighboring three countries that all qualify as happy vomiters.

However, Scandinavian or not, one day I will dive into Finnish literature. And I'll include Iceland, too, so I can pass as an academic instead of a novelist who takes pride in the fact that he writes much more than he reads.

Enjoy this Scandinavian smorgasbord, people!


Next blog: My Pretentious World Tour for The Tsar's Dwarf hits Hong Kong, China.

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