Ecco Walkathon Copenhagen - Only For People Who Are Truly Good

Pulling groin muscles for a worthy cause - that's how humanitarian I am.

I just participated in Ecco Walkathon Copenhagen.

Yes, it's true. I walked 6 kilometer through my windy capital for humanitarian reasons. Every step I took meant that 1001 humanitarian causes made money off my sore feet, so the more I walked the more humanitarian I became.

"I'm a good person," I thought as blisters exploded under my feet. "I'm doing this for Street Kids International, the Danish Hjertebarnsfonden, and for those cute Pandas that are dying off in China," I sighed while I pushed some kids into Copenhagen's harbor to get ahead.

"Relax," a hysterical mother shouted at me , "it's not a competition."

"Oh, yes it is," I shouted and overtook three 96 year olds who thought they could outdo me in an intermediary sprint, but I showed them who was boss. I bet those old timers are still gasping for air in some hospital while I'm writing this humanitarian blog.




By the way, that's the problem with the world. It just isn't as humanitarian as me. At the Walkathon, I saw thousands of egotistical people in the street who weren't participating in this great event.

"You selfish pigs," I shouted at a nice couple who was out walking their poodle, "how much humanitarian work have you done today? Scooping your dog's pooh off the street don't count, does it, you bastards?"

Yes, I was so humanitarian that I insulted drivers, too - those soulless people who ride around in their flashy cars, not caring whether the rest of us will die from their exhaust fumes.

"Why don't you do something charitable for once?" I shouted at a Jaguar. "I'm pulling groin muscles for street kids in Sao Paolo and you're going out to Sunday brunch with some brainless bimbo."

After 6 kilometers I passed out at the goal line finishing an impressive number 64.358 in the Copenhagen Walkathon.

It's hard being a humanitarian, but luckily the Ecco Walkathon is over, so I can now go back to being my old nasty self.


The Walkathon took place at the harbor of Copenhagen where even the windmills are humanitarian. Danes are truly good. Almost as good as me.

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